bork, pictures are sealed for your protection


 Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to
 work and hearing this.
 Many Chicago folks DID hear this on the WBAM FM
 morning show in Chicago. The DJs play a game where
 they award winners great prizes. The game is
 called "Mate Match".
 The DJs call someone at work and ask
 if they are married or seriously involved with
 someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or
 she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal

 The person is also asked to divulge the name of
 their partner (with phone number) for
 If their partner answers those same three
 questions correctly, they both win the prize.

 One particular game, however, several months ago
 made the City of Big Shoulders drop to its knees
 with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing
 I've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went

 DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever
 heard of 'MateMatch'?"

 Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."

 DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a
 trip to Orlando, Florida if you win. What is your ame?
 First only please."

 Contestant: "Brian."

 DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"

 Brian: "Yes."

 DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or
 you're what?"

 Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."

 DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name?
 First only please."
 Brian: "Sara."

 DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"

 Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

 DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"

 Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."

 DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last
 time you had sex?"

 Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

 DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"

 Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."

 DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

 Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."

 DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"

 Brian: "About 10 minutes."

 DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one
 would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at

 Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."

 DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have
 sex at 8 o'clock this morning?"

 Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."

 DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"

 Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her
 mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."

 DJ: "Uh huh..."

 Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the
 shower at the time."

 DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

 Brian: "On the kitchen table."

 DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure
 than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay
 folks,I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work
 number and call her up. You listen to this."

 3 minutes of commercials follow.

 DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?"

 (touch tones.....ringing....)

 Clerk: "Kinkos."

 DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"

 Clerk: "This is she."

 DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live
 on the air right now and I've been talking with
 Brian for a couple of hours now."

 Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"

 DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with
 us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll
 lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of

 Sarah: "No."

 DJ: "Good!"

 Brian: (laughing)

 Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you
 up to?"

 Brian (laughing) "Just answer his questions
 honestly, okay? Be completely honest."

 DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3
 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's
 answers, then the both of you will be off to
 Orlando, Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World.
 Sea World. Tickets to the Magic's game. The whole
 Get it Sarah?"

 Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."

 DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex,

 Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before
 Brian went to work."

 DJ: "What time?"

 Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."

 DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it

 Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."

 DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she
 is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last
 question, Sarah. You are one question away from a
 trip to Florida. Are you ready?"

 Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."

 DJ: "Where did you have it?"

 Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them
 that, did you?"

 Brian: "Just tell him, honey."

 DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"

 Sarah: "Well, it's just that my mom is
 vacationing with us and..."

 DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it?

 Sarah: "In the ass....."

 After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need
 to take a station break"