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The story of the CENTURY, R2K eat my shorts...
posted Sunday October 6, 2002 @ 20:28 by smeetz

Sooooo, there I wass!!!! (take up a seat as this will be a while) (No, really, this is almost a freekin novel)

Ok, let's lay the groundwork for this here "Fairy" tale.

I've been working at a Cajun Restaurant for about a month now. Slowly starting to get to know everybody, making some cool friends, establishing myself as a party animal slash booze hound. It's all good. Now onto the characters.

Melinda: A line chef, *recently turned 28, divorced, works a lot, likes to hang and party*

Daffany: Server/Host, *Hot Little Number, 2 kids, married 3 times, currently single and has the hots for Josh*

Josh: Not sure on technical name for his position, *real funny guy, party slash booze hound, AKA Randy*

Me: Gumbeaux's Bitch. Host, Busser, Runner, Server, Bartender, Bar Back, basically I'm the Night time gm, Nancy's bitch. It's great, she loves me, slowly becoming major player in the restaurant. *really, really funny guy, booze hound, party animal. Need I say more.*

The Story.

It was Melinda's 28th birthday Saturday, October 5th. So, seizing the opportunity to go out on the town for a night of fun, a bunch of us decided to go to Buckhead for some music, drinks, and CLUBS...So, saturday rolls around and we all have to work the night shift, except Josh. Melinda and Daffany get let off early, lucky bastards, I on the otherhand have to stay and help close the bar. Finally get off work at around 11 pm or so. Head over to Melinda's place which is like Out in the middle of Butt Fuck Idaho. Serious. Get there around 11:30 pm or so. Enter her place and discover that her and Daffany are hittin' the pipes and blazin away, inbetween hits I discover that we have to wait for Josh to show up.

12:30am : Josh walks in the door, OK guys lets go do this. Pile into the Buick and leave to go out and shake our groove thang.

1:15am : Pull off the interstate and pull onto the drive. Peachtree Rd. In what proceeds to be the longest, most noisest, drive of my life, worse then going to Bon Echo, Waterwoo, or Detroit. For the first hour of the trip we have to crawl through the Urban community. I'm talking bumper to bumper traffic on a 3 lane street, with Escalades, Kawasaki's, Eclipse's, Caddy's, that are all slammed. I'm talking Hydro, what must me like 30 inch rims, and music pounding. We are literaly moving an inch every 10 minutes, because some gold toothed brother in his whackass shitbox, where the trunk is a rattlin, because his ass doesn't know to use any Dynamat (some sort of trunk rattlin killer dufer) has spotted a car full of sisters and wants to try his best attempt at being smooth. Failing miserably. DENIED.

2:45am : In what should take us no more then 30 minutes, we finally make it through the Urban community and start seeing some more white folk and hit the club district. One problem. Anyone who goes to a club knows, that they start closing the clubs around 2:30-3:00 am. Clusterfuck. Daffany and Melinda are starting too burn out. Josh is irate cuz he wants to get drunk and I am just like whatever, let's do something.

3:30am : Let's find a afterhours club. Ok, the only one I know of is Backstreet. If you guessed Gay and Lesbian club, then you myfriend win a huge GOLD STAR. Josh, homophobe, Jay, even bigger homophobe, say whatever, we just want to party as do the girls.

4:15am : Get into Backstreet. Was only about a 25 minute wait, which I guess is decent. Wonder why?? Queue line of the night. Bouncer: we have and express line, you pay $20 and get to move to the front of the line. If you have a certain card you only have to pay $5 if not, it's the full $10. Now I like to get into a club with some decent time to spend in there. However, $30x4, is not worth it, for a gay & lesbian club. Right. Finally get in. Awesome, Awesome Music. If I was to be there for the music it would be the best club. Limey you would like it. Now we head upstairs, which too my understanding was supposed to be a more so, straight environment. Uh-Unh. Well, half and half. Between the Diva herself, a very close Diana Ross look alike, and the decent beer, it was tolerable.

4:45am : Everyone's got a few shots in them now, almost have too, inorder to dissolve the fact that we are in a gay club. I go up and shake my rump for a bit. Get checked out by probably 3-4 "ladies", not the "ladies" I was hoping for if you catch my drift. When Melinda and I decide to check out downstairs. I was too affraid to go down on my own. Now, this is an entirely different environment. The motif for this floor, all openly gay men shirts optional. So, we slowly and delicately make our way out onto the floor, rubbing skin without any chance of not being able too. Spend all of about 20-25 minutes down there. In this span, I've been rubbing up against bare chested gay's, not my idea of a great saturday night party. When the kick-to-the-balls #1 occurs. Some "lady" is trying to make his way through the mob when he COPS A FEEL. Nuff said. Almost immediately we head back up stairs.

5:15am : Josh and Daffany are both pretty licked on Jagermeister too this point and decide that they want to try and get into each others pants. I'm talking Hand Job and Fingering under the not so tall bar tables and of course lots of kissing.

5:30am : We've sort of collectively decided we had had enough and got up to leave. So, Daffany, Melinda and Josh are all pretty blitzed. We walk back to the car when the two sexual deviants decide to stop by the caterpillar and take a "piss." So, after the assisted "piss," we pile into the car and head home. About 20 minutes into the drive, the two of them proceed to disappear behind the seat, for what can only be described as, "MOVING CAR BACKSEAT SEX" and "IF THIS MOVING CAR IS A ROCKIN', PLEASE DON'T PULL ME OVER." For almost the entire "ride" home, I had to struggle to stay in my lane, while the, newly discovered Hydraulics System did it's thing. And they say Hydro is illegal to use while driving. HAH.

6:15am : *2 cigarette's light up in the back seat.* Drop the gang off at Melinda's house. Say my goodbyes and birthday wishes, make sure there are no stains, and begin the long journey home.

6:30am : Pull into a Waffle House, cuz, I am a little tired and not too mention fucking starved.

7:00am : Walk into my bedroom.

The END!!!

oh wait there's more.

I had a 2:15pm Hockey Game for later that day.

We lost.

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